Caregivers are not defined by their formal status. Not their employer, not their relationship to a person, and certainly nor their age, gender, personality.
Caregiving is an act of love. It is labor for someone’s health, a frontline for someone’s wellbeing. And at one point or another in our lives, we must step into a caring role. Whether it’s for a week or as a career, you deserve love as much as you give it.
Here are some hot deals for you, things you can buy to show that love. For them, for you. Signed by my personal experience as a caregiver for my grandmother, mother, and father intermittently, sometimes love really is best purchased.
Hydrate or Diedrate!
In the desert, we need all the water we can get. That goes double for the aging population. Hydro Flasks have been receiving markdowns these days, and their Spring collection is filled with vibrant colors! Get one while you can!
Unfortunately, the logo came across as idolatry to both her and her daughter (my mom). Something about looking like an eye.
No worries! I landed a sweet deal at Target, where I had a gift card balance. In fact, the greatest gift is not always the most expensive one. It’s often what’s least problematic.
★★★★★
“My last bottle was just so beat up. Ugly thing. God bless you!”
My grandmother.
We all have to keep things somewhere.
Caretaker reality: your “caregivee” has way too much stuff in their apartment. How many more times are you going to do their laundry, only to move a box of photos and a broken fan out of the way first?
Storage is a subscription worth the cost. Their wedding dress can be safe in there, as well as the broken desk they insist on keeping in the living room. Out of sight, out of mind. It sounds cold, but the truth is that our memory starts to hold more than what’s strictly necessary as we age. Indeed, what we hold as beloved may be clutter pushing aside the things that matter more. Is it a pill schedule? A promise to a grandchild? She’s cooked for you all her life; give her the shiniest kitchen gadgets she could put her hands on!
A feminist interpretation of my grandma involves a vocabulary she was largely denied. But maybe it’s her vocabulary that the interpretation has yet to hear. Buy her a product in a language she can’t quite read, and she might just worry about the cost instead. Less is more, less is more.
First a mom, then a grandma. Mother’s Day is just a month away!
The older we get, the more we miss home. For someone born just on the precipice of South Asia’s decolonization, home is nonetheless a fraught place. But it’s worth celebrating the home she’s built in spite of it. She’s defined—or rather, others have defined—her life role in terms of children.
And her children’s children. If you’re feeling lazy and obligated, default to that definition. Caregiving is exhausting enough already. She’d love to feed her grandbaby baby good food, no doubt. From colonial times to now, it’s been the case for centuries.
If not for Mother’s Day, then at least give her the joy of knowing that her grandchildren will be well-fed. Grandma shies away from saying it out loud, but food was scarce in her time. Maybe it still is. Motherhood is still the greatest gift of life: celebrate it right.
Health is wealth.
Your blood sugar’s on the rise and you already know it? Too many strips, not enough money for everything else?
Sell it. Sometimes, you want to eat refined wheat without the guilt. (Grandma!)
Best part is that you can make some money too, and better yet, help someone in need. Yes, that’s the expectation. Get priced out of basic medical goods by pharmaceutical companies so that it is patients who must now care for patients. All with enormous legal and medical risks.
If you don’t do it for the one you take care of, then do it for you. The golden rule of caregiving is to put your oxygen mask on first. If by dubious means, then so be it.
